Meta Knight Story

The sequel to King Dedede Catastrophe, Meta Knight Story - Kirby's Cornfuffs 3 continues the epic Kirby's Cornfuffs Saga where the last two left off. It's also by Klub3 and continues the same "Script" format as its predecessors. It is also one of the very longest continuous stories in the canon, as you'll see from the "summary" below. While most stories are closer to an amalgamation of random Kirby elements, this story is most heavily invested in Kirby Super Star's Revenge of Meta Knight lore in its first and longest part, before sliding into a much more complicated story in the second part and beyond, ending with an explanation for the entire Kirby series' backstory that ties all the game's canon (at the time) together.

It is still currently live and viewable at its original location on the website. However, due to the "script" format and unclear details/action, it is recommended to be read in tandem with the summary:

http://klub3.tripod.com/KirbyKorner/id33.htm

Part 1 - Meta Knight's Revenge
Meta Knight and Kirby are battling when the story begins, with Meta Knight boasting that Kirby should simply surrender. When Kirby refuses, Meta Knight instructs Waddle De to activate his "secret weapon," a piece of mysterious technology that causes him to grow to massive kaiju-like proportions. Captain taunts them that the worst is yet to come, and Gooey and Stone Kirby are too awed to fight, causing Kirby to begrudgingly state that he'll defeat the giant Meta Knight himself.

Rock and Roll Kirby steps in and says he will fight with Kirby at least, to which Meta Knight brags that not even all the Kirbies in the universe combined could defeat him now. Blue Fire Gooey (written erroneously here as Blue Fire Kirby) notices they're being watched by Meta Knight's minions, including Meta Chain. Rock and Roll Kirby uses his Mic attack to defeat the minions and break Meta Knight's shield, who is angered by the setback but unwilling to give up. He calls upon the dark magic of Dark Matter, and fuses with him to become Dark Meta Knight, who is one hundred times more powerful than normal giant Meta Knight.

Dark Meta Knight uses his new dark magic beam, Beam O Doom, and tries to kill Gooey and Rock And Roll Kirby, but isn't used to his new gigantic body and misses the mark. Rock and Roll Kirby retaliates by displaying a new ability, mixing Mic and Fire to breathe fire and badly burn Dark Meta Knight.

Elsewhere, Klub3 muses to himself he wonders how the rest of the Kirby Korner Klub is doing. Chu Chu comments she doesn't know, but that the Halberd is now blocking out the moon. Mega Kirby G chastises Klub3 for not even trying to help, to which Klub3 laments that while his friends have inherent abilities like Mic, Super Inhale, Stone, etc., he's a normal Kirby with no default abilities and therefore useless in combat. Rick demands he has to at least try, and Falala and Fololo (called Lalala here erroneously, or perhaps correctly, who knows) debate the merits of a potential plan to make Klub3 more powerful. Kine and Coo insist that the plan WILL work, and the group agrees to give it a shot.

Back on the Halberd, Rock and Roll Kirby has just been blasted by Dark Meta Knight, but assures Stone Kirby he's fine. Kool Kirby Kid appears and announces reinforcements have arrived and that Klub3 will be helping them fight, which Stone Kirby doesn't believe and scoffs, throwing stones at Dark Meta Knight that have no effect. Rock N Roll Kirby uses an extended Mic attack, eliciting at least an "OOF" from Dark Meta Knight, who retaliates with Sword Beam, a massive blast that deals great damage to Kirby. Kirby throws a boomerang (using Cutter ability), which does nothing, but Klub3 enters with a new attack, Tornado Blade, and badly slashes Dark Meta Knight.

Mega Kirby G throws a fireball which at least slightly hurts him, and then, on Gooey's signal, the entire group attacks at once: Gooey uses Ice Breath, Mega Kirby G uses another fireball, Rock N Roll Kirby uses two waves of Mic, Kirby throws another Boomerang (Cutter), Kool Kirby Kid uses laser eyes, Coo uses Electric, Pitch uses Wing, Chu Chu uses Wheel, Nago uses Plasma, Blue Fire Gooey (again written erroneously as Blue Fire Kirby) uses Blue Fire, and Klub3 uses Tornado Blade. These attacks combine into a giant explosion of power, knocking Dark Matter out of Dark Meta Knight and causing him to lose gigantification, and with the entire Halberd turned to rubble and ash, Meta Knight falls helplessly until he lands in a thorn bush as the good guys slowly fall to earth holding emergency escape balloons.

Meta Knight exclaims that this means all out war on all of the good guys and that he will have his revenge, but the crew scoffs at him, and Klub3 laughs at him for being covered head to toe in thorns after his fall from grace. King DDD screams at Meta Knight for lazying around and not attacking the others, and the group disperses.

Meta Knight notices the injured Dynablade lying nearby and wanders over to it, formulating a new plan. He crams several helium tanks down its throat to make it inflate into a gigantic blimp-like object, then anchors the blimp to the ground and has his crew quickly begin attaching the wreckage and spare parts from the Halberd to the body to create a new ship, the Dyna-Halberd.

Gooey notices this happening and goes to warn the others. The crew of good guys confront Meta Knight to stop him from finishing the ship, but Dark DDD appears and summons a Dark Matter to grab Kirby and teleport him to an unknown location as a cannonball launched from the Dyna-Halberd launches and explodes, blowing the entire crew away. Kirby is blown away in the direction of his home, but before he lands a gigantic sword falls from the sky and stabs through his house, destroying it. Kirby lands on the sword and falls off in pain. Gooey recognizes that the sword belongs to Meta Knight Senior, Meta Knight's kaiju-sized father with a giant white mustache, a horrific giant assassin with dark magic who destroyed Planet P.E.A.C.E. just by touching it. Gooey realizes this must mean he's back, either as a ghost or as a clone, and Dark DDD exclaims that he managed to bring his ghost back in just one week (the methods for reviving the dead, and why it normally takes longer than one week, remain a mystery).

Kirby is unfazed, and the group reproduces the same group attack that destroyed Dark Meta Knight and the Halbert, quickly causing the ghost of Meta Knight Senior to fade away (presumably possible since he was a mere spirit of his former self). With his dying noises, the group realizes Meta Knight Senior's voice was the same as the voice those possessed by Dark Matter had, and that Dark Matter was Meta Knight Senior's soul all along, possessing others to try and find a way to bring himself fully back to life.

For Meta Knight, though, this whole affair was the perfect distraction. The Dyna-Halberd takes off, with Dynablade's corpse now having expanded 99% larger with helium. Stone Kirby had already snuck on the ship and calls for the others to jump on with him, which they do. Rock and Roll Kirby realizes if the Dyna-Halberd is a blimp, they can just pop it, and Gooey takes a needle and opens a small leak in the ship, injuring Dynablade again (who comes back to sentience again just for a moment to say "oof"). The ship begins to slowly plummet.

Another evil voice rings out through the vicinity, and when Gooey asks if it's Meta Knight Senior in some form again, the voice replies that it is much more powerful than even Senior, and that it has come to destroy them. The enemy reveals himself to be Dark Kirby, back from the events of King Dedede Catastrophe, who is now even more powerful, and still possesses 300/301ths of Dark Matter/Senior Soul's power. They try another Team Attack, but it doesn't even faze Dark Kirby. Klub3 has them try it again, but uses Plasma and Electric to charge up his Tornado Blade, and this time it hurts Dark Kirby immensely.

Dark Kirby, in his fury, calls Dark Matter/Meta Knight Senior's Soul back and absorbs the final 301th of his power, becoming Dark Dark Kirby. However, in his hubris, he fails to realize he had almost fallen off the ship and been caught by Gooey. He demands Gooey let go of him, which Gooey is all too happy to oblige, sending him falling off the Dyna-Halberd and forcing him to split back into Dark Kirby and Dark Matter/Senior Soul.

A new entity appears to seek revenge for the forces of darkness, announcing himself as only DARK. DARK, however, is a total coward and surrenders when Kirby says "Boo." Meta Knight enters, angry that his spotlight has been taken by multiple other evildoers, and demands that he will "seek [his] sweet revenge at all costs," consuming DARK, Dark Kirby, and Dark Matter/Senior Soul, to become the ultimate evil up to this point, the massive and powerful Mega Knight, swearing off his Meta Knight mantle and swearing to seek revenge for his days of living as an outcast on Popstar.

Rock and Roll Kirby tries a Super Lung Attack, the most powerful form of Mic, but it only angers Mega Knight. Mega Knight shoots a gigantic beam of dark magic, but Stone Kirby turns to stone and blocks it. Rock and Roll Kirby sings 60s rock music as his next attack, but Mega Knight laughs this off, so he switches to rap, which angers both Mega Knight and Klub3. Stone Kirby tries to turn the sun to stone, noting she learned this technique by watching Star Wars, but it doesn't work. (It should be noted that at this age the author had not yet watched Star Wars.)

Mega Kirby G, fed up with standing by waiting, sings a rap song so profane and grating that it destroys Engine #5 of the Dyna-Halberd. The crew debates whether fully destroying the ship is the best idea or not, but Mega Kirby G is having none of it and destroys Engine #4 in the same way. Waddle De panics, and asks Mega Knight if they should maybe land since the blimp is leaking air and now the left wing's engines have been destroyed, but Captain retorts that they will never surrender by landing, and Mega Knight begins launching sword beams to combat the Team Attacks from the good guys.

Soon 5 Dynablades, angered their fallen comrade was turned into a blimp, appear and peck their way to destroying Engine #3. Kool Kirby Kid uses Ice to freeze the entire right wing, destroying the remaining engines. Heavy Lobster announces that no engines or motors in the entire ship are functioning anymore, and Meta Chain panics.

Meanwhile, Mega Knight realizes he was unable to hold the all-powerful form of Mega Knight long-term, and melts down as he realizes he's back to normal old Meta Knight. Stone Kirby realizes that their victory is short lived, as the ship is now heading down at a terrifying speed and is going to crash and explode imminently. Meta Knight, now more furious than ever, announces he will never let them escape and will survive, but King DDD, furious that Meta Knight failed to kill Kirby and the Korner Korner Klub AGAIN, jumps on the ship only to keep Meta Knight from escaping, and throws him off the ship to his doom.

Klub3 orders the crew to use laser eye ability to wipe out Meta Knight's minions, causing Captain to finally panic and evacuate himself. Klub3 finds a Plasma ability trophy and regains Plasma, confronting King Dedede as Rock and Roll Kirby sings him on. Klub3 has the rest of the crew back him up and launches one last final attack at King DDD, injuring him badly. A baby bird flies by and gives the crew wing ability, which they use to escape the ship.

Back on Pop Star, everyone laughs to find that Meta Knight, now naked, has landed in a thorn bush again. Meta Knight grumbles to himself that he knew it was a bad idea to use Dynablade as a blimp.

This part ends with a note that it's dedicated to everyone who helped work on the site so far and agreed to be characters in the story, in the site's first year of being officially published online. While it's impossible to go back and see when this page was first uploaded (since only "last published" shows up and the whole site published each update on Trellix), the Kirby's Cornfuffs Saga was put in the Kirby Korner Archive in December 2003, and from tracing updates it looks like the second part was added in late June 2003, and apparently came a good deal later, so it can be assumed the "year" in question was from 2001~2002.

Part 2 - Dynablade's Revenge
Back on Pop Star, Dynablade is furious that Gooey popped him with a needle in the first part. Thousands of Dynablades come and start running after the crew, who hop in a minecart and try to escape. Dynablade Senior makes his first appearance, screaming after them, as Meta Knight jumps in front of the minecart and tries to attack. Klub3 uses a newfound power to turn them all invisible, but Dynablade Senior sees through their ruse. A strange object looms over them, prompting Kirby to think that Meta Knight built a new ship, and the invisibility wears off entirely. Rock and Roll Kirby uses Mic, which has no effect on Dynablade Senior, and Dynablade Senior screeches his own version of a Mic attack and does massive damage to Rock and Roll Kirby.

On his new futuristic ship, Meta Knight has been saved and rescued by his crew and is babbling incoherently, apparently having lost consciousness when Rock and Roll Kirby used Mic before. Meta Chain tries to say something about Kirby but can't think of the word, and Captain tells him he can't say it as it's profanity.

Back on the ground, the crew uses team attack, but Dynablade Senior can't even feel it. Stone Kirby turns his muscles to stone and tries to benchpress Dynablade Senior, but he can't feel that either. Same thing when Klub3 uses his strongest Plasma attack. Rock And Roll Kirby tries to blow him up until he pops, thinking back to the Dyna-Halberd, but it's impossible.

Captain flies the ship around to face them and announces he's going to open fire on Dynablade Senior. Meta Knight demands he instead aim for Kirby and his crew, but a very trigger happy Captain says he'll get them when he's done with Dynablade Senior. He fires six cannon balls, the explosions of which damage the crew, but Stone Kirby, still in stone-enhanced muscle mode, catches one and throws it back, though unfortunately he misses.

Klub3, seeing this as an act of war, announces that they have their own ship now, and orders the crew to go to the Club Airship. Blue Fire Gooey (again listed incorrectly) stays on ground as watch, Mega Kirby G is the lookout on board, Klub3/Rock and Roll Kirby/Stone Kirby are in charge of "the voltages" (generating power), Kool Kirby Kid mans the weapons, Kirby flies around the ship to look for enemies, and Gooey reports enemy sightings. The ship takes off and Klub3 demands Meta Knight surrender, but is met with cannon/laser fire that takes out the Turbulater 3.0.lop (its purpose is unknown, but Klub3 says it's unimportant and he only added it to the ship to appease Stone Kirby). Kool Kirby Kid fires back in retaliation and begins burping in the microphone, doing massive damage to his ship, but a stronger blast from Meta Knight's new ship knocks Stone Kirby off the ship entirely.

Another blast from Meta Knight destroys the turbo thrusters, to which Klub3 angrily and sarcastically replies they didn't need those either. Three more blasts hit the ship, knocking Rock and Roll Kirby off the ship as well and leaving Kirby barely hanging on for dear life. The last blast destroys the main thrusters, leaving the ship without a way to stay airborne.

Part 3 - Showdown
The Club Airship has crash landed and the crew is back on the ground again. In the last dogfight, all five engines on Meta Knight's new futuristic ship were destroyed, taking the entire ship down. Meta Knight tries to order one last desperate cannon volley, but is so anxious he passes out. Dynablade Senior catches up to the earth crew and prepares to attack again. Kirby throws a single boomerang with cutter ability, but as he does, Meta Knight's ship crash lands on Dynablade Senior and explodes, killing him instantly. Kirby celebrates, but a mysterious foe emerges...

Part 4 - THE FINAL BATTLE!
The mysterious foe was none other than... King DDD. Again. He announces he's imprisoned Klub3's friends that fell off of the ship earlier, and that Klub3 will have to bring him the Star Rod to get them back. Klub3 refuses and a battle ensues. DDD injures Klub3 with Shockwave, Klub3 hurts him back with Plasma, DDD uses a stronger shockwave to hit him, Klub3 uses Tornado to get him back, then they simultaneously launch two powerful magic beam attacks, Beam o' Doom and Beam of Good, which clash and make a gigantic explosion. Klub3 sneaks over to the cages and, before the smoke clears, releases the prisoners.

Part 5 - Return of Evil!
Meta Knight rallies an army of evil beings to fight back and defeat Kirby at DDD's command. Blade Knight, Dynablade, Dark Matter/Meta Knight Senior Soul, DARK (still lovably stupid and worthless), Dark Kirby, King DDD, Dark DDD (now a separate evil clone made by Dark Matter/Meta Knight Senior Soul), Meta Chain, Dark Meta Knight (also a separate evil clone), Mega Knight (same deal here, separate creation due to dark magic now), and Waddle De all express their desire to be the one to get Kirby and their resolve. They are all simultaneously defeated by a gigantic blast of energy from afar, however, as Dynablade Senior Senior Senior emerges and announces he will be the one to end Kirby. However, Kirby defeats him off-screen as various painful noises are heard, and there are no more enemies conscious to fight. So much for the return of evil.

Part 6 - Meta Knight...?
After everyone has recovered from the, er, events of Part 5, Meta Knight comes to Kirby with a confession--he's not really the original Meta Knight from the events of Kirby's Adventure and Kirby Superstar... he's actually a Sir Kibble who saw Meta Knight's power and resolve and swore to become strong like him, taking his place when the original Meta Knight retired, and he has been through all the events of the Kirby's Cornfuffs Saga. When a baffled Kirby asks who the original Meta Knight was, then, and what happened to him, Gooey reveals it was him, and that Kirby was wrong when he thought it was his long lost brother. Gooey retired from that life to become Kirby's best friend and live a simpler life.

Part 7 - Dynablaze
This dramatic moment is interrupted as an even more powerful villain emerges--Dynablaze, a massive 500 foot tall Dynablade with a top hat and a monocle who speaks in an evil British accent. She announces that she was the ORIGINAL Dynablade, and not even Dynablade Senior Senior Senior could come close to a fraction of her power.

Rock and Roll Kirby opens with his most powerful Mic attack ever, but is totally drowned out and leveled by Dynablaze's own version. Dynablade causes a gigantic explosion, and, when Kirby insults her personal hygiene, uses Super Tornado. The team holds hands to stay together as they're sucked into the whirlwind, and Klub3 shoots back a Tornado Blade of his own, but it doesn't even make it to Dynablaze. Dynablaze taunts them with a Beamwing attack, smashing Popstar itself in half, and Stone Kirby can't even lift any part of Dynablaze even with his Super Muscle ability. Klub3 uses his rarest ability up for the first time, a one use power called Crash, a move that instantly kills any foe, but Dynablaze is unharmed, even expressing boredom at it.

Kirby weeps at the hopelessness of the situation as Gooey chastises him for being a crybaby. Klub3, trying to get creative, decides they should challenge Dynablaze to their specialties to beat him. He challenges Dynablaze to a Megaton Punch contest, his specialty. Klub3 breaks his model of Popstar into three pieces, but Dynablaze shatters hers. Klub3 is despondent, Stone Kirby mocks him for his failure, and Rock and Roll Kirby challenges him to a contest to blow up Dedede balloons but Dynablaze pops hers in one second. Klub3 mocks his failure in return. Stone Kirby challenges Dynablaze to a weightlifting contest, but Dynablaze effortlessly lifts every single weight at once, hopelessly defeating Stone Kirby before he can even put weights on. Blue Fire Gooey (again listed wrong here) challenges Dynablaze to a contest to burn something down, but Dynablaze does it before he can even finish issuing the challenge. Kool Kirby Kid challenges her to a fast talking contest, but Dynablade speaks so quickly that even though it was all articulated nobody could make it out. Mega Kirby G is the final contestant, and challenges Dynablaze to a rap off, but the fast talking fowl speed raps a flawless verse before Mega Kirby G can even finish the challenge.

Kirby gives up all hope. Gooey chastises him for this and says they should just call Mario, but Kirby grimly reminds him that he lives on Mushroom Planet while they live on a now-split-in-half Popstar. Dynablaze mocks them all for being better than them all at even their special talents, and tells them all to just leave. Kirby refuses, so Dynablaze uses a Super Crash attack and badly injures everyone present. Klub3, desperate, tells Rock and Roll Kirby to try inflating him again, but Stone Kirby points out that if he tried Dynablaze would just pop him first. Kirby has everyone get Crash ability and try it once together in one last powerful blast, and Dynablaze grunts in pain and collapses, as another foe announces its presence...

Part 8 - King Quackers?
Kirby recognizes the voice immediately as King DDD, who is angry at being hit by Dynablaze's beam earlier. Kirby panics and uses Crash attack on King DDD, full force, to try and end him once and for all, and the blast is so powerful that it causes King DDD to revert back into his original self--a kindly and adorable yellow monarch duck named King Quackers?

King Quackers thanks Kirby for saving him, and says that his tangle with evil goes back to ancient times. Long ago, he explains, Dynablaze, one of the original two Dynablades, was Meta Knight Senior's pet. Dynablaze became pregnant and was abandoned, as Meta Knight Senior found her to be too much of a handful to begin with without there being more of her. Dynablaze turned evil and learned evil magic, then created the N.M.E. Organization, creating monster after monster, including the eyeball forms of Dark Matter (later co-opted/corrupted/fused by/with Meta Knight Senior's Soul). The original Kirby was created by Dynablaze's organization, and Kirby was banished for having a good heart.

One Dark Matter was created incorrectly and came out as a blue Kirby like being instead, the being who would become the Meta Knight of Kirby's Adventure/Kirby Super Star fame. He was kicked out for being defective, and taught the ways of evil after being adopted by Meta Knight Senior, who passed along his name and called him Meta Knight. Kirby was an angry young man, abandoned by his creators and lonely, and though he spent all his days searching for a friend, when Meta Knight asked to be friends with him, Kirby was still too angry from being abandoned and didn't believe him, slapping him in the face.

Meta Knight was furious, and hired his crew to make the HALBERD and seek revenge. Kirby's crew destroyed the Halberd in the events of Kirby Superstar, and when the ship sank, it smashed Meta Knight against the sea floor, maiming his body and turning him into Gooey. Retiring from his life of evil, he reformed his ways, changed his name and identity, and made best friends with Kirby after all in the end.

Meta Knight Senior passed away, and with his death his soul co-opted the Dark Matter hivemind and began to seek out total domination and assimilation to regain his position of power on the material plane, in the events of the Dark Matter Trilogy (Dreamland 2/3 and 64). The first victim was King Quackers, who was corrupted by a dark magic curse and transformed into the evil blue penguin tyrant named King DDD... until now, when Kirby finally broke the curse and returned him to his true self!

Part 9 - The End?
This gag part is one line - "THE END! No it is not."

Part 10 - Dynablaze Returns!
Dynablaze reveals she only faked her death to troll them and was unharmed by their ultimate team crash attack. King Quackers reveals himself to Dynablaze, who is horrified at the sight of the legendary white magician, the only one to ever defeat her. He first uses Poisonpeck on Dynablaze to no effect, but then uses his ultimate move, King's Diamond Attack: Beam of Crash, defeating her for good and wounding her beyond being able to move anymore. Everyone celebrates.

Unfortunately, after a fakeout ending, N.M.E. himself (Nightmare), avenging his creator, materializes and repeats the devastating evil spell that corrupted Quackers before, turning him back into King DDD. A loud explosion is heard, and a mysterious remote falls from the sky with a single red button that Gooey pushes without thinking. Kirby, Gooey, and DDD wake up in a dark room, as Klub3 panics because they all disappeared.

THE END

Aftermath
This story continues directly into the much shorter Mistletoe's Revenge, AKA Kirby's Cornfuffs 4.